My nephew

I am 31, recently divorced with two daughters, and what I’ll tell you happened on Christmas Eve. I have a wonderful sister and best friend - she is 2 years older than me and has three teenaged sons. On Christmas Eve I was visiting with my sister. The two of us, along with her eldest son, had a very nice time and drank a lot until late at night. When my sister fell asleep and we helped her to the bedroom, after that returning to the lounge where we shared more wine. I will remember this night for the rest of my life; my eldest nephew was so nice, he made me so many compliments, we listened to music and danced, just the two of us. Eventually, I still do not know why, I started to rub pelvis against my nephew's and was astounded at how quickly I flowered open to him. We started kissing and probably because of the wine we didn’t even seem to notice how delicate our situaton was. Before long we were in his bedroom and already half naked, our clothes mostly gone, making out like two people really hungry for love and sex. I still don't know if it was the smartest decision I ever made, but I did not regret it. I was ready to have sex with my sister's son. I knew that it would be wrong, but we ended up starting the intercourse, and when he was about half way inside of me I felt a very uncomfortable pain and felt very guilty then, thinking that this was God's way of punishing me for having sex with my nephew. He eventually slid all the way into me, moving slowly back and forth, and after a few minutes, because of all the sexual tension between us, he ejaculated and I came with him. I felt my nephew's jet of semen going deep inside, and I prayed to God I didn’t get pregnant. I will live with this secret for my whole life, and I am too ashamed to share it with any of my friends or family members.