My Daddy Complex

Theyre all married..or they have kids. I suppose im dirty. I dont want to sound like a cliche but the Marilyn Manson song the nobodies comes to mind …today im dirty i want to be pretty ..tomorrow i know im just dirt..Thats exactly how i feel but im addicted..They touch my hair and my skin and when they kiss me and tell me im cute i feel so special. They tell me my skin is a turn on and that my body is intoxicating.. they need to feel me in their beds..when they call me i always go and for a few hours i feel pretty, special and cute. I guess thats how the girls with boyfriends who love them feel.. but what they have is pure , what ive got is filth..im dirty and the special feeling never lasts. Im sorry that i am doing this to other women ..im sorry because even though i dont have sex with their husbands im addicted to the way they touch me,,i cant wait till they cum so they’ll cuddle me and tell me ive been a good little girl and kiss my forehead..i cant give it up because im ashamed to say my sense of self worth depends on what men my father’s age think of my body…Also i dont know whats wrong with me..i am so turned on by the age difference between us..and that theyre always so much taller than me..im addicted to feeling little in their arms..i feel so loved even though reality tells me im just a sex doll to them..nothing more ..but im hooked.